After practically a lifelong battle with anxiety, the last several years have been a really lovely hiatus from fear. I think mostly because I finally gave medication a try and although it wasn’t an easy decision nor an easy adjustment (re: side effects), I do think it’s worked wonders on my overall anxiety. I amContinue reading “Smooth Sailing?”
Tag Archives: anxiety disorder
What I’m Struggling With Still
Sometimes I look at my life, almost like an outside observer would, and I am struck with how different it looks from life three years ago. Sure, I’ve had a baby since then, but that’s not the difference I’m referring to, although it definitely has changed things. Three years ago, I was at the sameContinue reading “What I’m Struggling With Still”
I feel…weird
I remember it. I was taking a test and all of a sudden the room just felt too quiet and my thoughts sounded too loud and I felt like my brain was shouting at me, sort of. I remember it. I was talking on the phone and all of a sudden the conversation sounded moreContinue reading “I feel…weird”
The Game Changer(s)
In the last 2-3 years my anxiety has improved tremendously. Anxiety and I, well, we’ve known each other for a long time. It’s been a life-long journey, with battles throughout, but the time period between 2011-2020 was probably the toughest for me. 2011-2013 were almost unbearable. Then, things improved, but I still really struggled. IContinue reading “The Game Changer(s)”
Is it my personality or my anxiety?
It’s a Friday night in 2004. I’m a junior in high school and all my friends are heading to the football game. They’re pumped, all chattering excitedly about the boys they like, the cute football players, the events of the school week. I smile and mirror their excitement but nobody knows I’m pretending. I’d ratherContinue reading “Is it my personality or my anxiety?”
I forgot what it felt like to feel normal
I had learned to live with my anxiety. It wasn’t the monster it once was, but it was there, never letting me relax completely. I was coping with it, functioning, at least from the outside. I thought maybe this was as good as it was going to get, which wasn’t so bad. Sure, it suckedContinue reading “I forgot what it felt like to feel normal”
When I Fell Apart
Just like anyone who’s ever lived, I’ve had my share of struggles. Most of mine, maybe all of mine, have fear at the root of them. It’s always been the thorn in my side and there have been periods of my life where fear and anxiety have lain dormant and other times where they’ve comeContinue reading “When I Fell Apart”
The Opposite of Who You Are
Intrusive thoughts. If you have struggled with an anxiety disorder of any kind, you know how torturous intrusive thoughts can be. They seemingly appear out of nowhere and, in your heightened state of anxiety, you fixate on them, even though you don’t want to, even though they’re bothersome, even though they frighten you. Out ofContinue reading “The Opposite of Who You Are”
Changed for the Better
“See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.” – Isaiah 48:10 When I was in the thick of it, when my anxiety was at it’s very worst, when I felt tortured by my own thoughts, I could not see the light. I could not seeContinue reading “Changed for the Better”
Morphing Anxiety & Labels
I’ve written about this before but I used to feel a lot of shame about being diagnosed with GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder). Even though I was struggling, there was something about the official diagnosis that didn’t sit well with me. Then, when I finally got used to the idea of that diagnosis, it changed toContinue reading “Morphing Anxiety & Labels”
The Hope Antidote 