I feel…weird

I remember it. I was taking a test and all of a sudden the room just felt too quiet and my thoughts sounded too loud and I felt like my brain was shouting at me, sort of. I remember it. I was talking on the phone and all of a sudden the conversation sounded moreContinue reading “I feel…weird”

The Game Changer(s)

In the last 2-3 years my anxiety has improved tremendously. Anxiety and I, well, we’ve known each other for a long time. It’s been a life-long journey, with battles throughout, but the time period between 2011-2020 was probably the toughest for me. 2011-2013 were almost unbearable. Then, things improved, but I still really struggled. IContinue reading “The Game Changer(s)”

Like Everyone Else

It was exactly what I needed to hear in the moment. It had been a rough morning and I was questioning myself and my capabilities as a mom, wondering what was wrong with me because I didn’t feel the motherhood bliss I was supposed to be feeling. To be fair, there’s a whole spectrum whenContinue reading “Like Everyone Else”

Choose Your Hard

We all know someone who thinks they have it worse than everyone else. The complainer. Maybe it’s a friend of ours, or a coworker, or a relative, or (yikes) maybe it’s us. The negative Nancy, the person who always has an ache or a pain to whine about, the person who never sees the glassContinue reading “Choose Your Hard”

Is it my personality or my anxiety?

It’s a Friday night in 2004. I’m a junior in high school and all my friends are heading to the football game. They’re pumped, all chattering excitedly about the boys they like, the cute football players, the events of the school week. I smile and mirror their excitement but nobody knows I’m pretending. I’d ratherContinue reading “Is it my personality or my anxiety?”

I forgot what it felt like to feel normal

I had learned to live with my anxiety. It wasn’t the monster it once was, but it was there, never letting me relax completely. I was coping with it, functioning, at least from the outside. I thought maybe this was as good as it was going to get, which wasn’t so bad. Sure, it suckedContinue reading “I forgot what it felt like to feel normal”

When I Fell Apart

Just like anyone who’s ever lived, I’ve had my share of struggles. Most of mine, maybe all of mine, have fear at the root of them. It’s always been the thorn in my side and there have been periods of my life where fear and anxiety have lain dormant and other times where they’ve comeContinue reading “When I Fell Apart”

The Opposite of Who You Are

Intrusive thoughts. If you have struggled with an anxiety disorder of any kind, you know how torturous intrusive thoughts can be. They seemingly appear out of nowhere and, in your heightened state of anxiety, you fixate on them, even though you don’t want to, even though they’re bothersome, even though they frighten you. Out ofContinue reading “The Opposite of Who You Are”

Confessions of a People Pleaser

I’m pretty in tune with what other people are feeling. I don’t really know how to explain it, but I can sense things about people. I don’t mean it to sound hokey or weird or like I’m some kind of psychic. It’s not like that. It’s more that I’m a sensitive person and I canContinue reading “Confessions of a People Pleaser”

Morphing Anxiety & Labels

I’ve written about this before but I used to feel a lot of shame about being diagnosed with GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder). Even though I was struggling, there was something about the official diagnosis that didn’t sit well with me. Then, when I finally got used to the idea of that diagnosis, it changed toContinue reading “Morphing Anxiety & Labels”