My anxiety had been so severe for so long that when I finally started to feel better it was…strange. I had forgotten what it felt like to feel normal. I had felt poorly for so long. It was something I lived with every day and, yes, I was coping, and actually convincing myself that thisContinue reading “I Remembered”
Category Archives: Personal Experience
Guarded Vulnerability
I hear it over and over again. Be vulnerable. Be real. Be authentic. Vulnerability is praised while being guarded and reserved is not. It was my biggest struggle – vulnerability. I didn’t want anyone to know I was suffering from anxiety, and not just anxiety, but a full blown, debilitating, what often felt bizarre, anxietyContinue reading “Guarded Vulnerability”
The Land of the Living
It was the promise I clung to when my anxiety was at its peak and I was at my worst. “Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living.” Psalm 27:13 NLT As a Christian I believe one day the world will be rightedContinue reading “The Land of the Living”
A Cage Called Social Anxiety
“I feel a blinding shaft of terror, which I tell myself to ignore, as my brain will often try to send me messages that are untrue and I do not have to listen to them. This is lesson one at St. John’s: your brain is an idiot.” – Sophie Kinsella, Finding Audrey It didn’t makeContinue reading “A Cage Called Social Anxiety”
Smooth Sailing?
After practically a lifelong battle with anxiety, the last several years have been a really lovely hiatus from fear. I think mostly because I finally gave medication a try and although it wasn’t an easy decision nor an easy adjustment (re: side effects), I do think it’s worked wonders on my overall anxiety. I amContinue reading “Smooth Sailing?”
What I’m Struggling With Still
Sometimes I look at my life, almost like an outside observer would, and I am struck with how different it looks from life three years ago. Sure, I’ve had a baby since then, but that’s not the difference I’m referring to, although it definitely has changed things. Three years ago, I was at the sameContinue reading “What I’m Struggling With Still”
I feel…weird
I remember it. I was taking a test and all of a sudden the room just felt too quiet and my thoughts sounded too loud and I felt like my brain was shouting at me, sort of. I remember it. I was talking on the phone and all of a sudden the conversation sounded moreContinue reading “I feel…weird”
The Game Changer(s)
In the last 2-3 years my anxiety has improved tremendously. Anxiety and I, well, we’ve known each other for a long time. It’s been a life-long journey, with battles throughout, but the time period between 2011-2020 was probably the toughest for me. 2011-2013 were almost unbearable. Then, things improved, but I still really struggled. IContinue reading “The Game Changer(s)”
Is it my personality or my anxiety?
It’s a Friday night in 2004. I’m a junior in high school and all my friends are heading to the football game. They’re pumped, all chattering excitedly about the boys they like, the cute football players, the events of the school week. I smile and mirror their excitement but nobody knows I’m pretending. I’d ratherContinue reading “Is it my personality or my anxiety?”
I forgot what it felt like to feel normal
I had learned to live with my anxiety. It wasn’t the monster it once was, but it was there, never letting me relax completely. I was coping with it, functioning, at least from the outside. I thought maybe this was as good as it was going to get, which wasn’t so bad. Sure, it suckedContinue reading “I forgot what it felt like to feel normal”
The Hope Antidote 