“Never trust your fears. They don’t know your strength.” – Athena Singh
Fear. It’s been my greatest struggle. I know what it’s like to be in the throes of anxiety, to feel stuck in a whirlwind of irrational thoughts, feelings, and physical symptoms, unable to pull myself out of the pit of despair. Breaking free of anxiety and fear has been a long, sometimes painful, but ultimately hopeful process.
I am not here to promise you some magical cure. I am not even here to say that I’ve completely mastered my own anxiety. There are still tough days, but it doesn’t dominate my every waking moment anymore. I am not stuck in the muck and the mire of the pit anymore.
I kept silent for a long time about my struggle with anxiety and it’s still hard for me to share my story, but I’ve decided I want to be a part of breaking the stigma that so often comes along with mental illness. It’s also an exercise in vulnerability for me, someone who has a tendency to hide and withdraw, afraid to look weak, filled with shame about my struggle. But, most of all, I wanted this blog to be a beacon of hope for anyone who might be suffering in the grips of fear, the way I once was. You can overcome. You can heal. You can break free from anxiety.
Hope is a powerful weapon. Hope is the antidote to fear. Dare to hope.
We all know someone who thinks they have it worse than everyone else. The complainer. Maybe it’s a friend of ours, or a coworker, or a relative, or (yikes) maybe it’s us. The negative Nancy, the person who always has an ache or a pain to whine about, the person who never sees the glassContinue reading “Choose Your Hard”
It’s a Friday night in 2004. I’m a junior in high school and all my friends are heading to the football game. They’re pumped, all chattering excitedly about the boys they like, the cute football players, the events of the school week. I smile and mirror their excitement but nobody knows I’m pretending. I’d ratherContinue reading “Is it my personality or my anxiety?”
I had learned to live with my anxiety. It wasn’t the monster it once was, but it was there, never letting me relax completely. I was coping with it, functioning, at least from the outside. I thought maybe this was as good as it was going to get, which wasn’t so bad. Sure, it suckedContinue reading “I forgot what it felt like to feel normal”
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