“Never trust your fears. They don’t know your strength.” – Athena Singh
Fear. It’s been my greatest struggle. I know what it’s like to be in the throes of anxiety, to feel stuck in a whirlwind of irrational thoughts, feelings, and physical symptoms, unable to pull myself out of the pit of despair. Breaking free of anxiety and fear has been a long, sometimes painful, but ultimately hopeful process.
I am not here to promise you some magical cure. I am not even here to say that I’ve completely mastered my own anxiety. There are still tough days, but it doesn’t dominate my every waking moment anymore. I am not stuck in the muck and the mire of the pit anymore.
I kept silent for a long time about my struggle with anxiety and it’s still hard for me to share my story, but I’ve decided I want to be a part of breaking the stigma that so often comes along with mental illness. It’s also an exercise in vulnerability for me, someone who has a tendency to hide and withdraw, afraid to look weak, filled with shame about my struggle. But, most of all, I wanted this blog to be a beacon of hope for anyone who might be suffering in the grips of fear, the way I once was. You can overcome. You can heal. You can break free from anxiety.
Hope is a powerful weapon. Hope is the antidote to fear. Dare to hope.
“For though I fall, I will rise again. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light.”
Micah 7:8
What I’m Struggling With Still
Sometimes I look at my life, almost like an outside observer would, and I am struck with how different it looks from life three years ago. Sure, I’ve had a baby since then, but that’s not the difference I’m referring to, although it definitely has changed things. Three years ago, I was at the same…
The Last Time You Were You
I remember the searing pain radiating throughout my lower abdomen and towards my back as the contractions intensified and I remember thinking, “isn’t there supposed to be a break coming up?” The contraction felt never-ending. Agonizing. Where was the anesthesiologist with the drugs? I cannot tell you how much time passed, but it was long…
I feel…weird
I remember it. I was taking a test and all of a sudden the room just felt too quiet and my thoughts sounded too loud and I felt like my brain was shouting at me, sort of. I remember it. I was talking on the phone and all of a sudden the conversation sounded more…
“You do not have to be fearless. Doing it afraid is just as brave.”
morgan harper nichols
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The Hope Antidote 