“See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.” – Isaiah 48:10 When I was in the thick of it, when my anxiety was at it’s very worst, when I felt tortured by my own thoughts, I could not see the light. I could not seeContinue reading “Changed for the Better”
“I observed everything going on under the sun, and really, it is all meaningless – like chasing the wind.” – Ecclesiastes 1:14 Before you start to get depressed and close your browser, hear me out. I never really understood the book of Ecclesiastes. Here it sits in the bible, right after Proverbs. Proverbs is practical,Continue reading “Ecclesiastes”
I’ve written about this before but I used to feel a lot of shame about being diagnosed with GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder). Even though I was struggling, there was something about the official diagnosis that didn’t sit well with me. Then, when I finally got used to the idea of that diagnosis, it changed toContinue reading “Morphing Anxiety & Labels”
I met my husband when I was 12. We started dating when I was 17. I married him when I was 24. Our families are friends and we come from similar, almost identical, backgrounds of the same faith and values. We are financially stable and live in a house with plenty of rooms for anyContinue reading “A Change is Coming”
2011. I had just gotten married and instead of newlywed bliss, I was more anxious than I had ever been in my life. I told myself it was just the transition that was causing these anxious feelings, these bizarre symptoms, these thoughts of hopelessness. I kept thinking that one day I would wake up andContinue reading “Miracles”
So, you really don’t need a “why” to feel anxious. I’ve struggled with that idea sometimes because as an analytical person I always want to know the reasons behind what I’m feeling, but I also know that sometimes searching for the “why” can add even more stress to whatever you’re feeling, especially when it’s notContinue reading “My Factors”
It was early morning, around 6am, on a cold, winter day. I was up watching the sun rise over our farm, savoring my coffee, my toes snuggled into cozy slippers, feeling peaceful and enjoying the view when I saw him. A fox appeared by the large evergreen trees to the right of our property. AtContinue reading “The Fox Who Survived”
There’s no such thing as easy courage. If there were, it wouldn’t be considered courage at all. This may seem like an obvious statement, but it wasn’t obvious to me for a long time. In my mind, courage and bravery came easier to others than it ever would for me. I would watch people giveContinue reading ““Easy” Courage”
I’ve mentioned this before, but anxiety, for years, has been an incredible source of shame for me. It was my silent struggle, the thing that made me feel weak, not good enough, deeply flawed. I so wanted to appear confident, unafraid, capable and just normal. My struggle with anxiety, often debilitating anxiety, was my deep,Continue reading “Message over Discomfort”
F41.1. GAD, or, Generalized Anxiety Disorder. It’s a helpful code for medical professionals, for insurance companies, maybe for Therapists. It’s not the most helpful code for the person being diagnosed. At least it wasn’t for me. When my anxiety got really bad, right after my wedding, I remember telling the Doctor that I thought itContinue reading “The Diagnosis”
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