anxiety healing – The Hope Antidote

I’d rather be fat than anxious

For as long as I can remember I’ve wanted to be thinner than I am. Even when I was “thin” in the technical sense, I wanted to be thinner. The number on the scale matters to me more than it should and it always has. I’ve also always loved food. I find immense joy whenContinue reading “I’d rather be fat than anxious”

I Remembered

My anxiety had been so severe for so long that when I finally started to feel better it was…strange. I had forgotten what it felt like to feel normal. I had felt poorly for so long. It was something I lived with every day and, yes, I was coping, and actually convincing myself that thisContinue reading “I Remembered”

The Good Fruit

Usually, anxiety isn’t thought of as a positive thing. Who wants to feel anxious? It typically only breeds more anxiety, self-consciousness, self-centered-ness, avoidance, irritability, frustration, impatience, and depression. I’m speaking from experience and the list could go on. But, does anxiety ever produce good stuff? I think, maybe so. I hated struggling with an anxietyContinue reading “The Good Fruit”

What I’m Struggling With Still

Sometimes I look at my life, almost like an outside observer would, and I am struck with how different it looks from life three years ago. Sure, I’ve had a baby since then, but that’s not the difference I’m referring to, although it definitely has changed things. Three years ago, I was at the sameContinue reading “What I’m Struggling With Still”

I feel…weird

I remember it. I was taking a test and all of a sudden the room just felt too quiet and my thoughts sounded too loud and I felt like my brain was shouting at me, sort of. I remember it. I was talking on the phone and all of a sudden the conversation sounded moreContinue reading “I feel…weird”

I forgot what it felt like to feel normal

I had learned to live with my anxiety. It wasn’t the monster it once was, but it was there, never letting me relax completely. I was coping with it, functioning, at least from the outside. I thought maybe this was as good as it was going to get, which wasn’t so bad. Sure, it suckedContinue reading “I forgot what it felt like to feel normal”

“Easy” Courage

There’s no such thing as easy courage. If there were, it wouldn’t be considered courage at all. This may seem like an obvious statement, but it wasn’t obvious to me for a long time. In my mind, courage and bravery came easier to others than it ever would for me. I would watch people giveContinue reading ““Easy” Courage”

Scripture to Combat Anxiety

I was raised Christian but it wasn’t until my struggle with intense anxiety that I really learned to cling to and lean on my faith. That’s when it became deeply personal. Though I had been through struggles with anxiety before, it was my junior year of high school when I had my first panic attack.Continue reading “Scripture to Combat Anxiety”

The “Right” to Feel Anxious

I grew up pretty well. Sure, there was some stuff. But, I had two stable parents who loved me unconditionally and provided for me. I had a roof over my head and food to eat. We weren’t wealthy, but we always had enough. I wasn’t abused. I had a pretty happy childhood. Like I said,Continue reading “The “Right” to Feel Anxious”

Holy Night

I don’t know why but I’ve never really listened to the lyrics of most Christmas songs. Sure, I play and sing them once a year, like everyone else, when I’m baking cookies or decorating my tree or wrapping gifts (although I am really particular about which Christmas songs I actually like). But, I’ve never paidContinue reading “Holy Night”