Always Something

I recently watched the series, Beef, on Netflix. If I had to categorize it I’d say it’s a dark comedy/dramedy. There are some silly moments, some violent moments, some ridiculous moments, and some heartfelt moments. It’s a story about two people involved in a “road rage” incident that becomes the catalyst to an unraveling of their lives and those they’re closest to. Initially it seems the two people involved in the incident seemingly live very different lives, but in reality they’re both struggling with the same thing. Life has beat them both. It’s taken things from them, whether it’s through mistakes of their own or circumstances that have happened beyond their control.

I think there are several themes or lessons that can be pulled from the story but one I most resonated with is this idea that “there is always something”. The two main characters, Danny and Amy, say it multiple times throughout the series and, at first, it looks like they’re just dealing with minor inconveniences, and actually, they are!

But isn’t that what gets us sometimes? The small setbacks, the traffic jams, the misplaced keys, the car seat malfunction, the air conditioner breaking, the check engine light turning on in the car…This is the stuff, isn’t it? It builds, and it builds and it builds and then it’s easy to look at the big picture stuff and think it’s pretty much all crap.

I know I typically wake up and try to start the day with the best of intentions. Not always, but usually. But then the day starts to happen to me. My husband and I have an argument. My toddler spills milk on the couch. I’m late to an appointment. I have a frustrating interaction at work. My day and all it’s promise has suddenly gotten away from me. I start to notice all the negativity around me. The grass needs mowing. The house is a mess. Dishes fill the sink. I have so much on my to do list. Groceries are so expensive. People at work are irritating. And then, I start to internalize things. I can’t do anything right. Why am I struggling so much? Other people have it so much more together than I do. I’m a bad wife. I’m a bad mom. I’m a bad person.

It’s always something.

I found myself agreeing with Danny and Amy. It is always something. Why is it always something?

I don’t know the answer. But what I do know, or at least what I’m coming to terms with, is that life is far from perfect. It’s far from easy. I have noticed this leaning I have, especially recently, to take the easy route. Maybe that’s universal, maybe all human beings want to take the easy route. The path of least resistance. But I feel this desire to build up some sort of resistance within myself against this ideology, this idea or hope that things will just be easy, that they should just be easy.

That’s never guaranteed. I’m not sure when I started thinking that it was but I’m trying my best to un-think that way. I’m trying not to be derailed by the “always something” type of days. I’m trying not to be completely discouraged when those minor inconveniences build up and start to convince me everything is terrible.

Things may never be easy and I am tired. Amy and Danny are relatable because you can see the struggle. You can see how hard they’re trying to get to a better place financially, emotionally, spiritually, even physically. They’re doing everything they can and still it’s always something.

Maybe that’s the point though. This side of heaven, it will always be something.

Our job is to navigate those “somethings” well.

And I think maybe gratitude is the key. Even if it feels like your day is the worst day of your life, maybe gratitude makes it a little easier to bear. It’s nothing groundbreaking. Research shows that gratitude is helpful in a variety of ways. But, I think I needed some reminding. I used to count my blessings more often. I used to thank God for the little things. I don’t do it often enough anymore, I’m ashamed to say.

Another thought I had was that maybe the “always something” moments are good because they mean we’re actually trying. If I just sat on my couch eating potato chips and watching Real Housewives all day, which to be honest sounds pretty heavenly, I don’t think I’d run up against too much resistance. No irritation or frustration sounds nice, but unless you’re a perpetual couch potato, it’s probably not realistic to expect everything will be easy. It’s always going to be something.

So, maybe the more resistance we feel, the harder things are, it’s actually because we’re doing something that matters more.